The Hardest Thing
by Wolf and Bo Mistress
Summary: Alucard reflects before his death. Altered. AxS, AxI Warning: spoilers! One shot Do not read unless you have read the ending or you want to cry your eyes out.


Oh, gods, I kept tearing up while typing this, so... yeah. If it's kinda... odd in areas, that's why. I have no idea why I wrote this. I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. Sorry, if I didn't mention Walter enough, I need to save ideas with him for my other story. I have no idea how close to the ending of the Hellsing Manga this is, which is why I said 'altered.' I only saw the one page where Alucard was fading, and the Hellsing pentagram was on the ground. And I want to tell myself that isn't real, but... it more than likely is. Here's my thoughts on what he's thinking about. (it was either this really long thing, or '... Yeah, fuck it.' as his thoughts.)

--

--

The Hardest Thing

--

--

--

The sun was rising on the old No Life King. He felt his time had finally come. How he had longed for the sweet release of death. Taking a moment to look over all the things he'd done throughout his very long life.

He had ruled an entire country with iron claws; he had loved, and lost. He was free, but became enslaved when Van Hellsing realized that he couldn't destroy the King, so bonded him to the Hellsing bloodline. It was funny, really. A vampire, who drank blood, was now enslaved by it, was conquered by it, and was now consumed himself. The next memory was of the experiments the Hellsing bloodline had performed on him. How painful it was, how angry he had become… how… mystified he was by how cruel they could be. Secretly, it delighted him that he found a group of people more cruel and vicious than himself when he was known as Vlad the Impalor. More memories flooded him. The war, young Walter, the Angel of Death, even the form he was momentarily stuck in for a while. Walter called out to him during the war… he thought it was his name. He tried hard to remember his true name… They called him Alucard, but… that wasn't who he was. He had to remember. Ah… Vlad Tepes. Son of Vlad Dracul Tepes. Known as Dracula, thanks to that damn book, to most, where Hellsing got the name they called him now.

More memories, starting to become more vivid as they became more recent, flooded him. He watched himself be locked away in a dungeon, pinned to the wall by a straight jacket, and a few nails. Of course, they waited until he went a month or so without blood before tying him down, but they didn't know he knew that. He was still mostly awake when they did so. But, it all went black for a while, before he faintly heard the screams of a young woman, and the scent of blood. Hellsing blood. It splattered against his now mummy-like form before slowly making its way to his mouth, as if it was called there by silent commands. Quickly, he was able to pull himself from the nails in the wall, and lick the remaining blood from the floor, ignoring the situation around him, until he smelled fresher blood. It didn't smell as sweet as the young lady's he was lapping up, but it would do perfectly. What happened next was a little blurry, all that he knew was that he killed all but two of the living people in the room. One, a little girl, the one who's blood awakened him, and a man whose smelled similar, but… had a rotten tang to it. The little girl was the rightful heir to the Hellsing mansion.

A lot happened after that. He was reunited with Walter, who was starting to grow into his thirties, and retired to be a full-time butler for the Hellsing heirs. He later found out that it was only after he was locked away Walter did this. Was it because Walter refused to work with anyone else? He forgot to ask. He was so wrapped up in enjoying the kills he was, almost immediately, ordered to do.

It amused him to no end how Integra grew up so fast. One minute, she was a nervous thirteen-year-old, and the next, she was a full-grown woman who smoked cigars, and could shoot him without a second thought. Though, that was mostly his fault. He pestered the woman until she was almost ready to explode.

Almost.

He was one of the very few who were able to get under her skin.

The next few memories were over the Police Girl, no… Seras Victoria. She was so loyal to Integra and himself it was startling. Since the day he turned her, she tried hard to understand what exactly she had become. Often, she'd stare at the moon, or the stars, quietly asking herself questions. Over time, the new blonde vampire wormed her way into his long-dead, frozen heart. He was forbidden, by himself to go after her, however, since she was still so new… It was the same way for Integra. But, he was closer to Seras, it seemed. She was his own kind. Integra would never dishonor her family name by becoming what she sought to annihilate. Seras chose the night while on the brink of death, damming herself… just for him, for herself. Yet, she questioned herself. Only the death of the one she… 'loved' that opened her eyes. It pleased him to know that the new No Life Queen would, if he were to live, rival him in her own power. But he would not live, he was certain. He wasn't even sure he wanted to live. He had spent enough time on this plane.

Integra and Seras was calling for him off in the distance. They sounded so far away. The sun's rays looked so beautiful… like a mix of the two women's hair. He wanted to reach out, to touch the long strands, but he felt weak, like a newborn kitten. It… felt good for once.

Without even so much as a goodbye, only a sorrowful look, Alucard felt himself fade away…

It was the hardest thing, leaving the two strongest women he knew, the women he loved more than anything. Leaving them in a world that had erupted into chaos. A smile broke on his lips as he disappeared. Maybe he wouldn't leave them completely, Alucard thought, with a sigh of aggravation. His rest would have to come later. A bat, which had hidden itself on a far-off lightpole took off into the lightening sky.

'I'll always be there, whether you know it or not… Whether you want me there or not.'

--

--

--

Aww, sappy ending. Alucard's a bit... OOC, no? Yeah, definitely a lack of Walter in there... I may or may not change that. So, what do you think? Reveiws are much appreciated for this piece of work.


End file.
